I do not like being an emotional roller coaster. I was told today that God did not create us to be this way. Then I started to try and be level-headed about everything, and that did NOT work.
I'm interested on how tomorrow will end up, but as of right now this whole inner healing thing is just turning me into a hot mess. And when I say hot mess, I mean a wreck.
Meh. If you read this, please send God a shout out for me. I'm needing encouragement.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Sidetracked, but much needed post.
So I still have a lot I want to write about what I'm studying in Revelations, but I have an awesome night of eating crow and I wanted to share what I learned!
This was teh second Sunday for me in Alberta, and I ended up going to the same church I went to last week. We are allowed a period of three to four weeks to try out the churches in the area, and then we pick one and stay with it (I love that concept btw). We were about a half an hour late to church because the girlies slept in, and it was snowing like a blizzard outside so I was distracted with that I guess, and I was in a hurry to get to the car with shoes and breakfast in hand. I just had put my things down at my chair at the church when I almost automatically got a check in my spirit about the pastor. Something was weird about him, and I was totally distracted. The whole service I was thinking about nothing else than the check in my spirit about this dude! We was extremely loud and he would come down from the stage and he had a little in-our-faces attitude. Most of the interns went to this specific church this morning so at the end we were all meeting in the back figuring out lunch plans. The pastor then comes up to us to meet us and ask us where we were from and all that jazz. Nomally, this would be an awesome gesture, and I would really appreciate it, but because for some reason I had it out for the dude, this just made me more upset. We then left church and had lunch at one of the families houses, and then I got dropped off at my house.
The rest of the day went on like normal. We attended a youth service at another local church that we all really love. We again got there a bit late, but still in time to catch a bit of worship. For the announcements they played a Miley Cyrus song and for some reason AGAIN I was feeling cynical ( I REALLY do not like being that way, or people who act cynical...) and I couldn't understand how mainstream pop music about partying could fit in with church. Then the youth pastor gave a message that really smacked me in the face!
The pastor talked about Judas, and betrayal. He has a very unique outlook on the whole story and I thought I would share it. The context of the night was out of Matt. 26 where is talked about the woman with the Alabaster jar of perfume. For those of you reading with no Bible, I will give the reference (kudos to Biblegateway.com):
Now I want to highlight verses 13-14 for one sec. I had never seen it like this before, but Judas went to the chief priests right after the disciples were lovingly corrected by Jesus concerning the woman with the alabaster jar. Judas was the same as all the other disciples, loving and following Jesus with whole-hearted abandonment, seeing/ witnessing miracles and lives being changed by the thousands. In that split second between being lovingly rebuked by Jesus, and betraying him, what was going through Judas' head? Probably the same kind of stuff that goes through my head when I am lovingly (or not so lovingly) rebuked by a pastor, or Spiritual leader, or even by the Spirit. WHOA! That hit me like a ton of bricks. Partially because of my perpetual problem submitting to the leadership put in front of me, and partially cause of my nasty attitude all today towards every pastor/ leader!
See, the other 11 followers of Jesus did not fall away after Judas betrayed Jesus. They stayed passionately, radically and whole-heartedly after the preaching of the Gospel and sharing Christ's love with anyone they could! And they ALL died serving. So if all those disciples didn't let Judas' HUGE mistake distract them from focusing solely on Jesus and their ministry, why the heck would I let other people's "mistakes", or even a pastor's teaching decision, distract me from loving and praising my Jesus? It shouldn't!! Who am I to judge how a pastor does something! I have NO idea how to lead a youth group, or how to preach, let alone run a whole church! I immediately realized and repented for my horrible attitude of cynicism. I am going to now focus on ME, and MY problems, and I will practice living out the Beatitudes silently, by example. Then when pigs fly, and I am perfect, will I be able to look at someone and judge or mentally correct their actions.
Thanks you, Lord for showing me where I need to work on. You are so faithful to come alongside us and help us grow to be more like you. Thanks for showing me how much I NEED you, how much I NEED to learn, and how much I will NEVER be perfect. You are the perfect one, Jesus. I will forever live to be more like you.
Goodnight and amen!
This was teh second Sunday for me in Alberta, and I ended up going to the same church I went to last week. We are allowed a period of three to four weeks to try out the churches in the area, and then we pick one and stay with it (I love that concept btw). We were about a half an hour late to church because the girlies slept in, and it was snowing like a blizzard outside so I was distracted with that I guess, and I was in a hurry to get to the car with shoes and breakfast in hand. I just had put my things down at my chair at the church when I almost automatically got a check in my spirit about the pastor. Something was weird about him, and I was totally distracted. The whole service I was thinking about nothing else than the check in my spirit about this dude! We was extremely loud and he would come down from the stage and he had a little in-our-faces attitude. Most of the interns went to this specific church this morning so at the end we were all meeting in the back figuring out lunch plans. The pastor then comes up to us to meet us and ask us where we were from and all that jazz. Nomally, this would be an awesome gesture, and I would really appreciate it, but because for some reason I had it out for the dude, this just made me more upset. We then left church and had lunch at one of the families houses, and then I got dropped off at my house.
The rest of the day went on like normal. We attended a youth service at another local church that we all really love. We again got there a bit late, but still in time to catch a bit of worship. For the announcements they played a Miley Cyrus song and for some reason AGAIN I was feeling cynical ( I REALLY do not like being that way, or people who act cynical...) and I couldn't understand how mainstream pop music about partying could fit in with church. Then the youth pastor gave a message that really smacked me in the face!
The pastor talked about Judas, and betrayal. He has a very unique outlook on the whole story and I thought I would share it. The context of the night was out of Matt. 26 where is talked about the woman with the Alabaster jar of perfume. For those of you reading with no Bible, I will give the reference (kudos to Biblegateway.com):
The Precious Ointment
6Now when Jesus was in Bethany, at the home of Simon the leper,7a woman came to Him with an alabaster vial of very costly perfume, and she poured it on His head as He reclined at the table.
8But the disciples were indignant when they saw this, and said, "Why this waste?
9"For this perfume might have been sold for a high price and the money given to the poor."
10But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, "Why do you bother the woman? For she has done a good deed to Me.
11"For you always have the poor with you; but you do not always have Me.
12"For when she poured this perfume on My body, she did it to prepare Me for burial.
13"Truly I say to you, wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be spoken of in memory of her."
Judas's Bargain
14Then one of the twelve, named Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests15and said, "What are you willing to give me to betray Him to you?" And they weighed out thirty pieces of silver to him.
16From then on he began looking for a good opportunity to betray Jesus.
17Now on the first day of Unleavened Bread the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Where do You want us to prepare for You to eat the Passover?"
18And He said, "Go into the city to a certain man, and say to him, 'The Teacher says, "My time is near; I am to keep the Passover at your house with My disciples."'"
19The disciples did as Jesus had directed them; and they prepared the Passover.
Now I want to highlight verses 13-14 for one sec. I had never seen it like this before, but Judas went to the chief priests right after the disciples were lovingly corrected by Jesus concerning the woman with the alabaster jar. Judas was the same as all the other disciples, loving and following Jesus with whole-hearted abandonment, seeing/ witnessing miracles and lives being changed by the thousands. In that split second between being lovingly rebuked by Jesus, and betraying him, what was going through Judas' head? Probably the same kind of stuff that goes through my head when I am lovingly (or not so lovingly) rebuked by a pastor, or Spiritual leader, or even by the Spirit. WHOA! That hit me like a ton of bricks. Partially because of my perpetual problem submitting to the leadership put in front of me, and partially cause of my nasty attitude all today towards every pastor/ leader!
See, the other 11 followers of Jesus did not fall away after Judas betrayed Jesus. They stayed passionately, radically and whole-heartedly after the preaching of the Gospel and sharing Christ's love with anyone they could! And they ALL died serving. So if all those disciples didn't let Judas' HUGE mistake distract them from focusing solely on Jesus and their ministry, why the heck would I let other people's "mistakes", or even a pastor's teaching decision, distract me from loving and praising my Jesus? It shouldn't!! Who am I to judge how a pastor does something! I have NO idea how to lead a youth group, or how to preach, let alone run a whole church! I immediately realized and repented for my horrible attitude of cynicism. I am going to now focus on ME, and MY problems, and I will practice living out the Beatitudes silently, by example. Then when pigs fly, and I am perfect, will I be able to look at someone and judge or mentally correct their actions.
Thanks you, Lord for showing me where I need to work on. You are so faithful to come alongside us and help us grow to be more like you. Thanks for showing me how much I NEED you, how much I NEED to learn, and how much I will NEVER be perfect. You are the perfect one, Jesus. I will forever live to be more like you.
Goodnight and amen!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Seven Misconceptions About the End Times - Corey Stark
Today in class we talked about the book of Revelation. The more I thought about it, the more I didn't understand why I had never thought to study Revelation before. The End Times study gets so overlooked. You would think that as the younger generation, the generation that will probably be here when the 3.5 years of tribulation is going on, would want to know what God's battle plan is, that He clearly tells us about through scripture!
Now I really can't talk, because before this morning I had no clear desire to read about or study this particular subject, and I was a bit stressed that The End Times was our main topic for the week. But God seriously revealed some major flaws in my belief system today. I wanted to highlight a little bit of what Corey was talking about in our afternoon session on things that are falsely taught in churches and everywhere else. Everything he teaches (and I mean ALL of it) is fully backed in scripture. I didn't believe some of what he was saying, then I looked up the verses and it was plain as day! It's crazy how we can go so far on what we have grown up learning and believing, without ever testing it to the Living Word of God! I'm copying word for word from my notes so that I don't get confusing haha
MISCONCEPTIONS
A. Jesus will return at any moment: The Apostle Paul teaches that Jesus' second coming and the gatherine of teh saints, both occur during the same period of time at the 7th trumpet (1 Cor. 15:51). This follows teh great falling away (1 Tim. 4:1-3) and the revealing of the Antichrist (2 Thes. 2:1-4), which occurs at the "Abomination of Desolation" to being the Great Tribulation (Dan8:13; 9:26, 27,;11:31; 36-39; 12:11; Matt 24:15; Mark 13:14; 2 Thes. 2:4; Rev. 13:14-15 (shadows Daniel 3:1-30; Ezek. 8:1-6)
Now I really can't talk, because before this morning I had no clear desire to read about or study this particular subject, and I was a bit stressed that The End Times was our main topic for the week. But God seriously revealed some major flaws in my belief system today. I wanted to highlight a little bit of what Corey was talking about in our afternoon session on things that are falsely taught in churches and everywhere else. Everything he teaches (and I mean ALL of it) is fully backed in scripture. I didn't believe some of what he was saying, then I looked up the verses and it was plain as day! It's crazy how we can go so far on what we have grown up learning and believing, without ever testing it to the Living Word of God! I'm copying word for word from my notes so that I don't get confusing haha
MISCONCEPTIONS
A. Jesus will return at any moment: The Apostle Paul teaches that Jesus' second coming and the gatherine of teh saints, both occur during the same period of time at the 7th trumpet (1 Cor. 15:51). This follows teh great falling away (1 Tim. 4:1-3) and the revealing of the Antichrist (2 Thes. 2:1-4), which occurs at the "Abomination of Desolation" to being the Great Tribulation (Dan8:13; 9:26, 27,;11:31; 36-39; 12:11; Matt 24:15; Mark 13:14; 2 Thes. 2:4; Rev. 13:14-15 (shadows Daniel 3:1-30; Ezek. 8:1-6)
B. The church will be raptured at any moment: The popular pre-tribulation rapture view teaches that the church will be "raptured" at any moment and therefore, miss the great end-time drama. The word "rapture" comes from the Latin word "raptus", meaning "snatching away" (1 Thes. 2:19; 4;16-17; 5:10; 2 Thes. 2:1). The Bible teaches that the church will be "caught up", however, the issue is one of timing. The church will go through Tribulation in great victory and power, being "gathered together" at the end of the Tribulation, rather than at the beginning (Mt.24:29-31). The rapture occurs when Jesus returns to the planet at the 7th trumpet (1 COrinth 15:52). This is a serious mistake that will leave many unprepared for the end times.
MORE TO COME tomorrow, I'm exhausted :)
MORE TO COME tomorrow, I'm exhausted :)
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
JOY!
Today is the second day of week two of the Pursuit Internship here in Medicine Hat, Alberta, Canada. It is so like the nature and heart of God to already be doing a new thing to each of us here individually, and as a whole team! This week out speaker's name is Corey Stark, and he is the executive director of all internships at IHOP KC. (International House of Pray in Kansas City). He is speaking on The Endtimes, the Forerunner Messengers, and on the Spirit of Elijah.
The school so far has been incredible! It is so awesome how God works, bringing exactly who He wants, in exactly the right timing for this school. There are 16 students total, 4 young adult girls, 5 young adult guys, two families and four or five older single women. This DTS is a lot different than most Training School in the past because we are all spread out in different housing all throughout the city of Medicine Hat. Our meeting center is at the Global Prayer House at a building called Central. Central is an AWESOME ministry out of Medicine Hat, with a full gym, full dance studio, and full skate park in the facilities. This is also where the prayer room of Global Prayer House is located. GPH was founded and dedicated in February of 2010 here and has been touched and anointed by God to bring His presence and power to all people seeking out the Father! Our school leaders are Rick and Judy Sorum, great people of the Lord. Everyone is so different, but the Holy Spirit is using all of us together to do what He wants us to in the season.
Yesterday we were all praying and Corey began to prophesy over me, creative arts and joy!! Two things that I really feel God has placed on my heart for ministry. God also began to remind me of issues and areas that I haven't fully surrendered to Him, and I began to release these certain things. As I released my hold on these things, God had room to come in and work them out of me, and begin something new!
There are no real musicians in our group beside me, so I feel like God is going to use that gift to be able to lead us into a deeper level of worship and intimacy, which is very cool.
Prayer Requests!!
Please be praying for me in the areas of focus and finances!! Anyone who knows God knows that when you are coming to a point of breakthrough in your life, that is when the enemy is working hard to distract you. Please pray that the Lord will supernaturally give me a new-found focus on Him, His word, and in intercession! Financially, I am at about 1,000 dollars of the 7,000 that I need for both lecture phase and outreach phase. I have FULL confidence that whatever God's plan for me is, that He will bring it to pass. Pray a supernatural release of finances over me, and for our whole team.
Love love love to you all. I am so blessed to have people like you all to come alongside me in this awesome, new thing that the Lord is doing all over the earth.
Blessings!
Wynter
The school so far has been incredible! It is so awesome how God works, bringing exactly who He wants, in exactly the right timing for this school. There are 16 students total, 4 young adult girls, 5 young adult guys, two families and four or five older single women. This DTS is a lot different than most Training School in the past because we are all spread out in different housing all throughout the city of Medicine Hat. Our meeting center is at the Global Prayer House at a building called Central. Central is an AWESOME ministry out of Medicine Hat, with a full gym, full dance studio, and full skate park in the facilities. This is also where the prayer room of Global Prayer House is located. GPH was founded and dedicated in February of 2010 here and has been touched and anointed by God to bring His presence and power to all people seeking out the Father! Our school leaders are Rick and Judy Sorum, great people of the Lord. Everyone is so different, but the Holy Spirit is using all of us together to do what He wants us to in the season.
Yesterday we were all praying and Corey began to prophesy over me, creative arts and joy!! Two things that I really feel God has placed on my heart for ministry. God also began to remind me of issues and areas that I haven't fully surrendered to Him, and I began to release these certain things. As I released my hold on these things, God had room to come in and work them out of me, and begin something new!
There are no real musicians in our group beside me, so I feel like God is going to use that gift to be able to lead us into a deeper level of worship and intimacy, which is very cool.
Prayer Requests!!
Please be praying for me in the areas of focus and finances!! Anyone who knows God knows that when you are coming to a point of breakthrough in your life, that is when the enemy is working hard to distract you. Please pray that the Lord will supernaturally give me a new-found focus on Him, His word, and in intercession! Financially, I am at about 1,000 dollars of the 7,000 that I need for both lecture phase and outreach phase. I have FULL confidence that whatever God's plan for me is, that He will bring it to pass. Pray a supernatural release of finances over me, and for our whole team.
Love love love to you all. I am so blessed to have people like you all to come alongside me in this awesome, new thing that the Lord is doing all over the earth.
Blessings!
Wynter
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
News
Wow, I have really delayed to blog about what's going on in my life! Today will be my last full day in the States before heading off to the Global Prayer House in Alberta, Canada! There I will be doing a pursuit internship with IHOP and YWAM together.
globalprayerhouse.com
Check it out! Go to the pursuit internship tab and it will tell you all about my school.
We Will be going on outreach as well, as of now to the Philippines but it could very well change.
I know this is a lame blog, and I know I should write more, but I am on a crunch time for packing!
p.s. I chopped all my hair off, and it is semi brown. Don't ask me why, because there was so significant reason.
Read Psalms 62!
globalprayerhouse.com
Check it out! Go to the pursuit internship tab and it will tell you all about my school.
We Will be going on outreach as well, as of now to the Philippines but it could very well change.
I know this is a lame blog, and I know I should write more, but I am on a crunch time for packing!
p.s. I chopped all my hair off, and it is semi brown. Don't ask me why, because there was so significant reason.
Read Psalms 62!
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